NName: Meredith Brubaker
Which Service do you attend: Sundays, 9:00 a.m.
Word: Room
Scripture: Luke 2:6-7: “And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. 7 She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.”
Today, I want to share with you my journey in coming to know Jesus. I believed in Heaven but was certain there wouldn’t be room there for someone like me who was essentially a fraud going through life. No one knew of my abusive situation in my marriage. I learned to be a great actress because out in the world I could pretend my life was just fine. Even my family didn’t know. I had confided in only one person because I sensed her situation was like mine. It took her a full year to convince me to go with her to Al-Anon. When I did, I learned about my codependent role in this horrific situation. I learned why – when I had gotten free of a physically abusive alcoholic marriage – I turned around and married another alcoholic. Al-Anon encouraged me to forgive myself. I did. They didn’t encourage me to leave my husband, but after 6 months, when he was still insisting, he didn’t drink too much, didn’t need AA, and started verbally abusing our 10-year-old daughter, I chose to go. There was room in my heart for my daughter and my family, but no room whatsoever for anyone else. I accepted a loving relationship wasn’t meant for me.
One December a friend invited me to go to church with her on Christmas Eve. I declined. She asked why and I shared a bit of my story. She encouraged me to go to a church. She said God could help me. I lied and told her I would think about it. There was no room in my heart to try for love again, only to be disappointed. Within 2 hours of my decline, I got a call from another friend who had met a young Pastor “who was amazing and had just planted a new Church.” She was going to go. Would I please go with her? Coincidence??? Probably not. As I sat in Church I listened intently to the young Pastor’s message. He described how wonderful it is to have a personal relationship with the Lord. He said it’s so simple – invite Him into my life and He will come. I had never heard words like that. I realized I wanted to try it. As I had that thought, I literally felt my heart grow bigger, like it was letting me know I had room in my heart for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. When I got home, I noticed a book someone had given to me that I had refused to read. Tony Dungee’s New Testament Bible with an introduction written by Coach Dungee on how to read the Bible. I had thought it was going to be about his coaching experiences and with huge disappointment that it was the Bible, I had set it aside to be forgotten. After my experience at Church, I picked it up and started to read. Another coincidence? No. This time God was truly getting my attention.
Through time and with great patience on His part, the Lord has turned my life completely around. He has changed me in so many ways that I don’t even remember being the abused woman I once was. He’s even led me to a wonderful man who truly loves me. As you can see, I’m no longer a shell. No longer a fraud. I have seen hell and I’m so blessed to no longer be there. I live a life full of love and gratitude. Christmas is all about thanks to Jesus for saving me.
Prayer: Lord, thank you for making room for all of us.
Action: Encourage someone that might living in difficult circumstances.
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